How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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