Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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