What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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God is real.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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