What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops