Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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