What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

thumb_up thumb_down -14

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A rabbai , a mexican , and a ginger are In a car going over a cliff. Which one dies? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops