what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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i committed murder

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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lets bomb africa

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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