Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How does a printer work? You plug it in.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Here's a joke for you, my life...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops