A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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PyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyong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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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What's the connection between Obama and Michael Jackson? They both want to be a girl.

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

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To momma's missing so many teeth it looks like her tongues in jail

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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