Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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