What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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