A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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