Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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