What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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