Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops