I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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A bar walks into a man

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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