Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Knock knock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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