A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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