-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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What Did batman say to robin before they got in the car..... Get in the car

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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