so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops