A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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bangers and mash?

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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