A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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