Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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