A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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