What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops