a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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