My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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roses are red violets are indigo

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What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops