roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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What's the difference between? Your mom.

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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