A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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