How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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9/11

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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