took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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