A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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