Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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