Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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what goes boo a sock

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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Fat? Jesse Z

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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