Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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I wrote a funny joke.

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A fat guy!

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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