Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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antonis sister is mighty fine

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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women's rights.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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