how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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...Jack Vale

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Myspace

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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