Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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The jets are a good team..

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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i like potatoes

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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The Aristocrats

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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I like jokes.

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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