-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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