A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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Ruller

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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A black man says "ask" correctly.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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