Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

im jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

cc

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What what In the butt

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

" I can't here you it's too dark!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops