So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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