How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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