How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I HAVE AIDS NOW YOU DO TOO

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops