What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops