Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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