What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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roses are red violets should be purple

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when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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