antijoke is the best website.

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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