Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops