Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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