How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops